Word of the Day: Squash

Sometimes I feel like I'm teaching English in a foreign country. Today's word is "squash" - the drink, not the verb, sport, or vegetable. I pick up a bottle of the drink in my favorite New York supermarket (they also sell imported English tea). The Americans look back in confusion. "This is orange squash," I explain. A vague look of comprehension passes over some of the faces. "So it's a mixture of orange and squash juice in a plastic bottle?" one of them asks. I shake my head; this class is not going well. "It's concentrated orange juice," I start in my lecturing voice. "You pour a bit into a cup and then top it up with water." A general murmur of "water" goes around the group. Questions start flying everywhere: why do you have to add water; why not just drink fresh orange juice; why is it called squash? I shrug miserably and offer in weak protest: "It tastes really good." The class disintegrates.

Diet-coke Cake

Diet-coke cake. 178 calories per serving, recipe makes 12 servings. Ingredients: 1 can of diet coke, 1 box of cake mix, preferably chocolate. Instructions: Turn oven to 375F. Grease a baking pan. Mix the can of diet coke with the box of cake mix in a large bowl and pour into greased pan. Bake for 35-45 minutes until toothpick comes out clean. Result: good smells throughout apartment, lots of friends saying, "yum," "this is amazing," "I gotta try this." My opinion: real cake tastes way better.

Karaoke all night long!

I hate karaoke - I always have. But they just smiled when I told them, and so we went to karaoke. It wasn't hard to find a place - they seemed just littered throughout K-town, and so they took me to this place called Grand Karaoke. It was a poor choice of name because it happened to be very not grand. Bursts of music shot out of each supposedly sound-proofed door, and I cringed at hearing the discordant voices. I hate karaoke. Once inside, I promptly sat in front of a book and my eyes started scrolling through the list of songs. My hand started flipping over the pages as my mind searched for songs I like to sing. Suddenly, the remote was in my hands, and I was desperately punching in numbers. A song comes on, and I instinctively reached out for the mic. The showercap mic condom was snapped on, and I launched into song. They turned and smiled at each other. They knew exactly who loves karaoke.